Who's who and what's the line up? Clemo: I'm Clemo, I play the guitar...'da guitar' Me: can
you talk in English accents, I cant understand much Irish! Clemo: [in
Australian accent] aaaw, my name is....*laughter* Dave:
neighbours! Clemo: [I'm scoucer accent] welcome to, er, can I
speak scouse, cos i can do scouse. My names clemo and i play the guitar for
Mixtwitch Ronan: you slaaaag Me: slaaaaaaaaag
*laughter* Clemo: right, so I'm going to do the whole interview in
scouce. sound. My names clemo, i play the guitar. Carl: you've
already said that you ignorant twat. Clemo: I'll fucking have
you! *laughter* erm, the rest of the band.... Carl: my names Carl and
i...play the guitar! Dave: its a getaway tape *crappy pub music*
Getaway with that pitchfork! It's a good song this! Ronan: Hello! I'm
Ronan and i play bass. me: what's your name? are you being serious?
Ronan: Ronan! is that alright? Dave: you magical being
you! me: yea, i used to be obsessed with Boyzone, though i probably
shouldn't share that. Clemo: right on! Ez: my names
Ez and I'm an addict *laughter* Dave: I'm Dave Me: *league
of gentlemen style* Hello Daaaaaave, your my wife now! *laughter*
What's a brief history of the band? and that's not your
underwear! Dave: *ba dum cchuuuuuuush* Clemo wears a red thong
number me: can we see? we wanna see your underwear. Dave:
show em! show em the red thong! Show em the red love pants Clemo: why
do you assume I'm wearing underwear? Me: well that makes me wanna see
more Dave: show em! Show em the red thong! go on! Clemo:
I've got black boxers on now, sorry Ronan: what colour were they when
they started? Clemo: they were white when they started! me:
i wanna take a photo. smile for the camera Carl: Cags, look
at the camera! Clemo: He's the quiet reclusive guy in the corner. He's
not even in the band. *laughter* me: no, what is a brief history of
the band? Clemo: a brief history of the band can be found at www.mixtwitch.com/biog.. Dave:
I'm curious, what is the history of the band? Clemo: we formed in
1997, we have an album, and a single, and a tape. Ronan:
Yeeeehaaaaaaa. Your not going to be able to make any sense of this interview
when you hear it on tape! Me: Where's that woman gone? We told her to
turn the music down! Clemo: I think she turned it up!
Why
are you called Mixtwitch? Clemo: It's an recipe for urm...in
Ireland, at Easter time, 2 days before Easter Sunday we have Mixtwitch day, and
it's when we make these little fairy cakes. Me: and is that
true? Clemo: yea! Its called Mixtwitch day, it on Good Friday. Its
like a real catholic country, and we make Mixtwitch day Me: I'm half
Irish, kinda Clemo: Dammit *laughter*
How do you describe
your music? Clemo: terrible, really really terrible
Ronan: A shambles Clemo: Like a black pig being strangled
in a barn *laughter* Dave: Getaway punk rock! *laughter*
What's the best gig you've played and the best band you've played
with? clemo: at the black pig, with Whitmore Me:
Say Lubby nugget, please! Clemo: With Lubby Nugget, at Salisbury city
hall, on July 30th Dave: Don't you mean Art Centre Clemo:
no! Get with the programme, for gods sake! Dave: Aaaaaah, the gig we
didn't play, Aah
Who would you most like to play with? Clemo: Lubby nugget! me: i bet you would! *laughter*
Clemo: well, i know you'd most like to play with their drummer!
me: hell yea Dave: Ooooh! Clemo: the drummer
from Lubby nugget isn't called Sam! Me: they have a new one, have had
for about 6 months! Clemo: Aah, i was thinking of Sam from Shootin'
goon! see, they just merge into the same bands!
Why should we buy
'Smile for the money shot'? clemo: no, don't buy it
Ronan: no, do buy it, so we don't die! great! Carl: Buy it
cos its the best album you'll ever buy! Ronan: Rock on!
Me: and you want to give me a free copy, don't you. I can see it in
your eyes. C'mon, my managers incapable of paying me! Clemo: Do we
have any free copies? We have a promo one, we'll get you one of them
Me: great, got anything else you wanna give me. I want to built up a
collection. Plecs, drumsticks....My new double bed needs christening. *laughter*
Ronan: What? Dave: Her new double bed needs christening.
Your hired! Me: Hired! Do you have to book or something? *laughter*
Dave: He's pretty expensive. He's really good though. He comes highly
recommended *laughter* Me: me on the other hand, I'm just cheap.
*laughter* Clemo: 40 quid! Though it depends what you want, like.
*laughter* me: per hour, or per minute? Clemo: per
minute. that's my basic rate! Me: well, it wont take long! *laughter*
Which bands influence you? Clemo: Lubby Nugget.
Actually, they do Me: do you smoke as much weed as them?
Dave: No, we don't smoke weed at all Ronan: it's bad for
you Clemo: those young Lubby kids Dave: we shoot up before
every show we do *laughter* Crack all the way
What's the funniest
thing that's happened to you on tour? Clemo: This interview!
*laughter* Dave: I think Rofo should answer this
question! Ronan: i don't remember it, if i don't remember it, it
didn't happen! Clemo: is this music meant to make us feel at home?!
well its not fucking working cos we never actually hear it in Ireland!
*laughter*
What's a strange or disgusting fact about each of
you? Clemo: I have a head growing under my left armpit....wanna
see it? Its as the real one. It only started growing during this tour. An extra
head. Me: you've already got two. now that's just
greedy Dave: oh my god, did you hear that?! Ronan: how
rude! Clemo: what? Dave: you already have
two...*laughter* Clemo: this is the most disgusting interview we have
ever done! Dave: do you have a penis growing outta
there? Clemo: yea, at 40 quid a minute *laughter* Me:
i want one about each of you Dave: We're all pretty perfect aren't
we Carl: What's all of our worse traits? He [Clemo] snores like a
volcano. Clemo: He [Carl] snores like a volcano
too. Dave: He [Clemo] snores like a bear, he [Carl] snores like
a volcano Clemo: He [Carl] snores in through is mouth and out through
his nose. He [Ronan] has foot fungus Ronan: free 'shrooms! Clemo: What about that guy over there
[Cags]...He auditioned
for Westlife once but he didn't get in. me: who's part did he go
for? Clemo: Brian Me: well, i guess he didn't eat enough
pies *laughter*: Clemo: He gets his dick out in
pubs. Me: can i take a picture? Clemo: Cags! get your dick
out! Do that thing you do!
What are your porn star
names? Clemo: Filma Crack Me: your mothers maiden name
was crack....*laughter*.....you had a lovely mother... Clemo: Yea, I
did. I never had a pet so i cant do it. Me: well if you had a pet now,
what would you call it. Or what do you call your penis?
*laughter* Clemo: What do i call my penis? I haven't talked to my dick
in a long time! The one under my arm is called 'pitty' Me: What are
the rest of your porn star names? Poppy Fitzgerald. Mines Toby
O'Brian Me: Awww, they're so Irish Dave: Cos' were from
Ireland!
What piercings or tattoos do you have? Clemo:
None Me: Carl has his lip done...and his tregus as
well! Clemo: Our singer has his ball bag pierced with a coat hanger as
well! me: nice! Clemo: Shall we go through the serious
questions again and all? We didn't actually answer any of them did we. This is
going just as well as the big cheese interview. Me: When did you have
a big cheese interview? Clemo: The other day! ok, the serious
questions....oh, a brief history, right. We formed in 97 or 96 and er.... Ronan: Mooooooo!
mooooooo! Clemo: Shuddup! We
released a single in Ireland in 1999, it was rubbish, so no one bought it. We
did an album in 2000, and again it was crap, and no one bought it, then we got
signed to moon ska, and we did a tour, and it was crap and no one came, then we
did another tour and it was crap and no one came, so they decided, hey these
guys are pretty crap, lets put out another album. They put out 'Smile for the
money shot', which is out in the shops now, and it's crap and no one has bought
it so far. And we're on this tour now, and it's been pretty crap so far now, and
no one has come to any of the gigs. Question 4. Why Mixtwitch? Well,
as I said, Mixtwitch cakes - all good. How would you describe your
music? A pig dying in a barn. Dave: no, wait, how does that
sound? Clemo: How would you describe your music...it's ska punk with
bits of...mayonnaise. What's been the best gig and the best band
you've played with? Our best gig was at the Fallkirk in Scotland about a
year ago and the best band we've played with were, er... Me: Lubby
Nugget! Clemo: Lubby nugget...Mad Caddies. We would most like to play
with Less than Jake, or Millencolin, or NOFX. Or, Pearl Jam. Why should we
buy smile for the money shot? Why not. Cos it rocks like a fucking cat on a
microwave. Me: On a...don't you mean in a? Clemo: no, if you
put it ON a microwave, it doesn't melt, it just rocks! Which bands in -
flu - ence you? Lagwagon, NOFX, Millincolin, Less than Jake, Lubby Nugget,
Lubby Nugget, S club 7, Darius Danesh, Hear'say Dave: Hear'say! They
broke up today! Me: Hear'Say have broken up? Nooooooo! Dave:
Yay! Clemo: Myleene is joining our band! What's the funniest thing
that's happened on tour? Well, nothing. Er, no, what is the one funniest thing
that happened to us on tour? Dave: Ronan waking up in the bath. In
that girls apartment thing whatever it was.
