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Lightyear Interview, Salisbury Art Centre, October 31st Who's who and what's the line-up? Nelb: I'm Nelb, I play the guitar. Jim: My name's Jim and I play the drums! Chas: I'm Chas, I sing Me: And puke on stage *Laughter* Chas: And puke on stage, yea! Ben: I'm Ben and I play the sax Neil: I'm Neil, I play the trumpet. And that's Mark and he plays the trumpet as well. And there's Barrs on Bass Me + Jen: Hi!   What's a brief history of the band? Jim: Me, the drummer, and Nelb the guitarist met at school, and everyone else just met from going to gigs and stuff. Erm, we basically decided to form a band, and that's about it.....It was about 5 or 6 years ago wunnit? Chas: About '98 Jim: Yea....6 years ago, summat like that Why are you called Lightyear? Jim: Er..... Chas: It was the one that got picked outta the hat! There were others like 'The Opened Toed Sandals', and er, 'Snot Rockets' - that was alright, 'Kebabs For Breakfast'... Jim: 'The Condiments'  *laughter* What's the funniest tour story? Jim: Er, last night....Barrs has pissed himself twice in about a week when he's asleep...well last night... Chas: He always goes 'Well I was drunk, so it's alright', but no one else wets the bed on the bus! Jim: Wets the bed! aha! Its not even pissing himself, He wet the bed! Chas: It's so much worse innit! Neil: Last night we er, we went to a club and got naked in the club and ran out, and them erm but and ashtray, like bin on our heads, and it looked like some sorta Darth Vader thing and er then this guy got a table and tried to break it by doing like a wresting move, and bounced off it and nearly killed himself, and then the police came and tried to arrest me, even though they thought I was a witness at first even though I turned out to be a criminal, and them we went to Asda and got on the PA and swore on the tannoy! Me: An eventful night then....... What's with the funny titles to your new songs? Chas: How do you know the titles to our new songs?  Me: Adam told me....Inside information? Chas: Aaaaaaaaah! I dunno, some of them have got a reference, do you know what i mean? But some of them just.. Neil: Aaaaaaaaaaaaaah! Aaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaah! Aaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaah! Aaaaaaaaaaaaaaaah *laughter*  Aaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaah! Oh shit!  Chas: Ssssh now, calm down! Sorry about that, sorry.....Back to the songs....Well, 'I can smell cress' is called that because Barrs' girlfriend said it in the van, she just turned round and goes 'I can smell cress'. But the name of that's been changed now, to 'Whispering Rob Vs Maz (??) *tape cuts out*  Rob whispered all the time and then one day he was like 'Hello boys' *whispering*  like that, he worked at a rehearsal studios, and then one day we walked in and he was like 'Alright lads' *normal*  like that. He had whispered like the whole time, and Mas was his best mate that he fell out with. So that's 'Whispering Rob Vs Maz'. Which of you in an interview last week said you'd like an orgy with S Club Juniors? Chas: That was me *laughter*  Yea, that was me! I'd love to do that! That's a bit dodgy, innit that! *laughter*  Erm, yea! Me: Which members exactly? Chas: Erm, all of them, man! Boys, girls, whatever! And Donagh (DKO) from Jesse James! No, not really...Not really, disclaimer! How did you read that anyway?  Me: Joe, the kid who did it is a mate.  Chas: Aaaah, right. Are you going to play spot check at the Christmas show?  Chas: Erm, I reckon.....maybe...why? Me: Adam wanted to know - apparently you hate that song... Chas: Erm, yea, it's cos we've played it so many times...for so many years, y'know what I mean, it's kinda, a bit old sorta thing. But, y'know, it's nice to play every now and then? He looks fucking horrible! *Neil has covered him self in greet face paint, being Halloween and all* What's with the truckers hats? Chas: The truckers hats...erm, I dunno, they're just pretty cool aren't they! It's like, have the shittest hat possible! *laughter* Kerrang! - is it good, or bad for the UK scene? Chas: Kerrang!? Its terrible for the UK scene! It's the worst thing! If your in an American band you can get in it all the time. Its shit - look at how many good english bands there are, none of them are in it. Who's idea was making the boat? Chas: Dunno. All of us... Neil: I think it was just a joke, but everyone was sorta like, 'yea why don't we just do it!'. Someone just said 'Oh yea, why dont we just get a canoe out' Chas: The sticks were sorta like that as well - just a bit of a joke really! Have you ever thought of making a video?  Chas: Erm....someone else! haha Jim: We're trying to get a video done at the moment actually! Dunno if it's gonna include the boat. Have you ever thought of doing a cover?  Jim: A cover? Erm....we used to do one, a long time ago. Chas: Of 'message in a bottle' by the Police, er Super gran as well! We were talking about maybe like doing an Adequate 7 cover or summat like that....I can't really give it away, but at the charismas show we wanna do something special.  Has anything really bad happened to any of you? Chad: Erm, really bad? The van blew up once!  Jim: Mark had his teeth knocked out a couple of weeks ago Chas: Yea, Marks teeth getting knocked out recently. Show em your teeth Mark! Me: Ew! *laughter* Michael J fox, or Jimmy Saville? Chas: Oh, that's a hard one that is. Michael J Fox for me. Me: For me too, cos he's fit.  Chas: So is Jimmy, man! Jimmy's not bad! *laughter*  with all that gold! Or their love child would be the best answer! Neil: Michael J Saville Who are the crappiest band you've seen or heard? Chas: Jeez, that's a hard one...I dunno. Captain Everything - they're pretty bad Jim: They're all twats as well. *laughter* Chas: Nah, I dunno really, it's hard to say. There's bands out there that blatantly just write like, bigger bands, they're just writing songs to sell records. Like, their prime goal in writing is just to sell a record. That's just a pet hate of mine, y'know. If you go about writing a song, thinking that, i think that's shit Which bands influence you? Chas: Erm, Propagandi, Operation Ivy, Promise Ring, that's collectively, like...also, a lot of bands we tour with.  What's a strange or disgusting fact about each of you?  Chas: Ok, Neil ate my shit once....that was quite disgusting! Me: Which one of you can stick your own dick up yer arse? *roaring laughter* Jim: Erm, that's me....I'm not gonna do it now Chas: Nah, Jim: It's more of a weekend thing!  Chas: Happens more often that it should happen! Something disgusting about Ben....erm, his hair! Nelb, erm.... Jim: The eyeball on the end of his knob! Chas: Yea, Mark...he put his teeth in Barrs' pint last night! Er, me...I'm just great! What are your porn star names?  Chas: Erm, Monkey Palmer.... Neil: Hannibal Wilson *laughter*  Chas: Oh, hang on, how do you do it? Neil: First pets name, Mothers maiden name Chas: Oh, right i thought it was first toy....mines Truffles Palmer then! Jim: Spike Foss Ben: Monty Bunts! Nelb: Goldie Ross! *laughter* *going through the random people in the room* Benji beer Maisy Martin Mickey Fox Minnie Butter Lewis C*E: I've got the sickest porno name ever....Lewis Chas: Huh? Lewis C*E: I never had a pet, and my mothers maiden name is Lewis! *laughter* What are your favourite films?  Chas: Collectively: Back to the Future, Star Wars, The Goonies, Happy Gilmore, GhostBusters. Me: What about favourite porn films? Jim: I don't watch porn! Chas: Armstrong Does Darlington *laughter*  Jim: Yea, that's mine as well Right, thats it...thanks!